Choose JOY.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing, you have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with Joy. (Psalms 30:11)

I was a little bit over 8 weeks along when I saw the ultrasound tech's face tense up. I read the news in her body language when she left the room to go get the doctor I knew it.I didn't even want to look at my husbands face. The "What if's" started running through my head, only if I just would of stayed in bed rest longer, I just couldn't believe it. I didn't understand how it could of happened if the doctor the week before had told us it all would be fine as long as I stayed in bed. Losing our baby was one of the hardest thing I had ever gone through. When they told us we had been expecting a little girl! (That's what we had been hoping for! Lol) it got harder I just kept replaying the night we had gone to the hospital in my head. There was times where I questioned God & asking Him why us? I realized that no matter what I would of done this was God's plan for us at the moment we couldn't see the bigger picture but God could. Through this season that my husband and I went through our relationship has been able to strengthen and our relationship with Christ has gone even deeper. Don't think it just happened over night it has been a daily thing that we have to completely trust in God, look to Him for our strength. Something I learned was to let my husband comfort me and to let him know want I needed. There was times I would be in bed crying and all I needed him was to hug and remind me it was okay.

"Many times when we are hurting we often don't have the words to pray, but God knows our hearts and we can just go to Him in silent and allow our hearts and tears to speak for us" Seek Him when ever it feels the hardest, reach out to others and seek council if you have too. What my husband and I went through we consider it pure Joy (James 1:2-4) not because we wanted out sweet girl to pass, but because this is something we can share with others and give God the glory! We have to let Our Redeemer fill the cracks of our hearts. Only He is faithful and true to us and only HE gives us new mercies each day. The only way He can mend our lives and heart is for us to pick up all the pieces, lay them at the foot of the cross and surrender it to Him.

“My Redeemer is Faithful & True”

"As I look back on the road I’ve traveled, I see so many times He carried me through; And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my life, My Redeemer is faithful and true. Everything He has said He will do, And every morning His mercies are new. My Redeemer is faithful and true. My heart rejoices when I read the promise. There is a place I am preparing for you.’ I know someday I’ll see my Lord face to face, Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true. And in every situation He has proved His love to me; When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.

Thank you to all our family and friends that were there for us <3